Breathe in…breathe out…..breathe in….breathe out….
I have been feeling super anxious about the start of school now for quite some time. Perhaps even more so than my kids, I have been trying to tame my own back to school anxieties as the first day drew near.
And now, the first day of school has come and gone (we really shouldn’t even call it the first day since it was all of about 97 minutes long, but I digress) and we made it through those 97 minutes with a few minor, precedent setting, and worrisome incidents. So now my anxiety is worse than before. Ugh.
Is it because I am a mom, and I want to always protect them and keep them safe and make sure that they are ok, but I can’t do that for the 6+ hours of each day while they are at school?
Is it because I am projecting my own insecurities and worries and experiences from my own childhood onto my kids? Who knows.
I do know that I worry about my eldest son who has struggled with severe anxiety and some learning challenges for the past few years. I worry how he will cope when all those big BAD negative feelings overwhelm him. I worry he won’t get an empathetic and patient teacher. I worry that he won’t be able to use the tools we are trying to teach him to manage these challenges moments and I worry that his big BAD emotional reactions to tough times will isolate him from his peers.
I worry about my youngest son who for the most part hasn’t even shown many signs that I need to worry….yet. I worry that his fierce independence and fiery personality will isolate him from his peers. I worry that his peers will start to notice his “magic eye” and make fun, or worse, he will be bullied for it.
Because I am a mom i’ll never stop worrying. But I can hold them, support them, tell them they are loved beyond measure and that they are enough the way they are.