I’d rather sit on a sharp stick than do this. Really I would.

January 23, 2015


OMFG. There is only 2 weeks until I leave for Palm Springs and my pasty white slightly pudgy bod is so NOT ready for it. Nor am I ready to drive down to the mall and entering the most dreaded of stores…..


Ugh. Is there anything worse than going bathing suit shopping?

Sadly, even when I had a smoking little biking bod (many many moons ago) I still hated exposing myself in a bathing suit. Would I like to go back and slap myself silly for not flaunting it, hellz ya!

But I digress…

I hate hate hate hate hate bathing suit shopping. Talk about forcing me to go head to head with every single insecurity I have under the unforgiving glare of awful overhead lighting and “fat” mirrors.

I could just throw my hands in the air and say f**k it – I am what I am, but I have not come to peace with myself enough to do that. Probably never will sadly.

I could try to highlight my assets, eg “the girls” in a hot little bikini top but that would involve exposing my stomach, which post hernia surgery and current diastasis issues is looking more horror movie than “Spring Breakers”.

Le sigh.

So, in all likelihood i’ll end up with some board shorts and a really big cover up, and thats ok. I don’t plan to spend my days lounging in the pool anyways. And compared to the Octogenarians, i’ll look positively youthful right!?

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  • Reply Janet January 23, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    OMG I can soooo relate to this. Last summer I was at my wits end and ended up buying a tankini top at… LL Bean. You know you’re a lame-o Mom when….

  • Reply SamiJoe September 16, 2017 at 1:26 pm

    I just did this. It was all kinds of not fun. Good luck!

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