This week, one of my bestiest best besties moved to the Island with her fam. I know it’s not like she moved to say Australia or something (oh wait, another one of my besties DID move there years ago, and another to the Interior, and another to Saltspring – you get the picture) and I know I will still see her as often as I can but it was still a bit soul crushing. You see, she was my Monday morning ride partner and confidante, the one who has known me for 20+ years, the one who battled with me through a decade of competitive Ultimate Frisbee playing, who understood all my ins and outs and ups and downs. She was (is) my “moms and kids” camping partner, drinking buddy, and fellow lover of all things chocolate. She has supported me through my tough times, and I hope I was there for her during her challenging days too.
The rational part of my brain says “you’ll still see her lots and it’s a great excuse to get to Victoria more and see my parents and other friends too” but my heart and soul are crushed because it’s so gosh darn hard to make new friends as adults. Not to mention good mountain bike riding partners too. Sniff.
So what’s a busy, suburb living, middle aged mom to do? How DO you make new friends as an adult?
Well first off there’s the new friend “set-up”. I am thankful that the universe (well ok, it was a mutual bestie that introduced us) delivered me a new biking partner and friend this past Spring so there’s that.
Second, I remember my parents always telling me that the friends they are still “closest” to even now in their 70s are the ones they met through my brother and I while we were in school and through all our various sporting activities. So, low and behold many many years later, I am very lucky to have met some amazing peeps here in the burbs all of whom I have met through our kids soccer and school, some of whom are becoming very very good friends.
Last but not least is the mutual interest new friend – the ones you meet in yoga class, or through blogging, or when you join a running club, a fitness class or take a mountain biking course. The ones that you bond with through the small thread of common interests and/or shared physical pain and hope like heck they like you back, or at least enough to meet for coffee from time to time or go ride bikes 😉
So, my heart still hurts a bit this week but i’ll get by with a little help from my (new) friends.