Ok, I know I know, I do blog and in fact that it is what I am doing right at this very second. But it doesn’t mean that it comes easy for me. In fact, quite the opposite, let me explain further…
I have written on multiple occasions this past year about why i have taken some notable absences from blogging. My excuses have run the gamut from:
- i’m busy
- it’s <insert season> holidays and the kids are home
- i’m tired
- i’m bored
- no one cares and I have no idea what to write about so whats the point <insert existential crisis but thats a whole notha post)
But what if there was another reason? An actual scientific reason for why I don’t (or can’t) blog? Bear with me folks while I tell you the story…
My eldest son is almost 10 and for the past few years he has been struggling at school. It started innocently enough last year in grade 3 when he was ALWAYS the last one to leave the classroom at the end of the day. It almost became a running joke and I would intentionally come to pick him up 15 minutes after dismissal since I knew he would still be in the classroom finishing up. Fast forward to this year, grade 4 and things have gotten much much worse. Lots of meltdowns, lack of sleep, trouble finishing tasks, extreme anxiety, SEA help needed, and regressive behaviors to name a few of the issues. Luckily his teacher is amazing and kind and patient but there is also only so much you can do in a class of 30 students and my son is only 1 or several who have “challenges” of one sort or another.
After numerous conversations with his teacher, she suggested that we might want to have him go through a Psychological Educational (Psych-Ed) assessment through a private Psychologist’s clinic (insert rant about under funding of the public school system and that we would have waited years for him to get one through the school) and the results weren’t at all surprising – my son was diagnosed with a learning processing disorder and generalized anxiety (no surprises there).
As I sat at the follow up and listened to the Psychologist explain the results of the test I started to have one of those “A-HA” moments where I felt like he was talking about ME.
I’ve often made comments to friends that my head brims with ideas but I struggle with actually get them out – both verbally or on “paper”. Creating a blog post, even this one, is a real struggle. Things just don’t flow easily. The same applies to speaking in front of peers, trying to shoot video, arguing with my kids, learning or speaking languages and on and on and on.
I stumble. I bumble. I get frustrated. I quit things (including this blog time and time again). But, I always come back it seems and try, try again. And maybe through helping my son with his struggles, i’ll come to terms with my own as well?