The Five Things I Want My Sons To Know

May 19, 2015

The five things I want my

  1. It’s Ok To Be Vulnerable – Boys in general are given a huge disservice when told to “suck it up” and “be a man” when either physically or emotionally hurt. I want my boys to know that it’s ok to cry, for any reason, if it feels like that’s what you need to do. It’s ok to tell someone how you feel, and it’s ok to express love even if it’s not reciprocated.
  2. Have No Regrets – Take a chance, dance on stage, travel the world, ask “the it” girl on a date, tell someone how you feel, apply for your dream job, try out for the varsity team, speak your mind, stand up for what’s right, run for office. And if things just don’t go the way you want them to then yes it will hurt, yes it will suck, and yes it will take time to get over, but worse than any of those feelings is regret.
  3. It’s normal to call mom “Coach” – My boys have had me coaching their soccer teams since they were wee lads. They don’t know any different. They don’t see me as one of only two women on the “boys side”, they just see me as “Coach”.  And at the start of every season when the call out for coaches comes round, they naturally assume I will do it.
  4. Communicate Well – Oh this is a tough one. It’s tough for me even as a grown woman in my 40’s and it’s especially tough at a young age to articulate all those things you are feeling, but keep practicing! I promise to help you form those icky yucky feelings into words and keep helping you as you grow. ALL of your future relationships will benefit from this, no matter what they are.
  5. Never settle – This one might get tough…but whether it’s in a relationship or a job, it’s never ok to settle. If it doesn’t work out then move on. It might be really really really hard to do, but you won’t regret it (see point 2).

And it goes without saying that I will ALWAYS love them unconditionally and support them every step of their journeys here on earth. And that they should call at least once a week when they move away, and that it’s always ok to be a mama’s boy, even when they are all grown up.

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