Coming to terms with not having another kid

March 4, 2015


Back in 2013 I wrote a post about whether to have a third child or not.

I’ll save you the link click by telling you that the answer back then was NOT with utmost certainty 🙂

I have two beautiful healthy boys and I feel very thankful for them and yes, maybe that itsy bitsy pink part of me really wanted to have a girl, but I have three beautiful nieces that I can do pink stuff with and go to Taylor Swift concerts with and won’t have to experience the teenage years with so its really a win win win.

Hubby had the snip and we were done. Womb officially closed for business. Bring on Menopause!

But that itty bitty part of me that maybe was only 99.9% sure of this decision led us to use a “backup plan” just in case that .1% reared it’s head and I really wanted that third child through whatever means necessary.

And then last year in 2014 that .1% turned into an  .0000000001%. Both my boys were in school full time, and my business was taking off, and I was doing “me things” again and life was good.

I was totally and completely done and happy about it.

So I was a little surprised when this past January I was at dinner with hubby and he asked me dead-pan whether or not I wanted to have one more kid AGAIN.

*chokes on Santa Fe Chicken Salad*

My gut reaction was NO-FRICKING-WAY.

I think my hubby was a little surprised at my visceral reaction to his question as I tried to calmly explain that another child meant big change in MY life. I would be the primary caregiver and would have to give up a good chunk of my business, freedom, bike riding etc etc. I don’t want to be home another 5 years with a wee one. I don’t want to be the OLD mom at Kindergarten pickup. I don’t want to go grocery shopping with a toddler in the cart. No, no and no.

And realistically, at my age and with my history of prenatal complications I wouldn’t be able to carry a child anyways, nay, I don’t want to carry a child anyways which would mean surrogates or adoption. Lots of time and money and emotional investment. Ugh.

And if that  .000000001% of me that maybe was open to a third still existed, it was well extinguished yesterday after being at the grocery store and seeing all the moms with babies and toddlers in tow looking exhausted and frankly miserable.

Yep. I am done.


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  • Reply Janet Nielsen March 4, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Before we had #2 (who is still little – turning two next month), we thought we’d have three kids. But he was/is a handful and our little unit feels manageable and just right the way it is, so I’m on the NO WAY side of things at this point too. Will be interesting to see if that changes over time but I have a feeling not for all the reasons you list here. Also, I have no idea how parents of more than two manage to be out-numbered!

    • Reply Christine March 5, 2015 at 11:00 am

      Hey Janet – I totally get it….I was very uncertain for a long time. It took at least 3-4 years to actually feel quite certain I was done, in fact it was around the time both kids were finally both in school full time – hmmmm…coincendence?! 🙂

  • Reply Michelle March 6, 2015 at 4:40 am

    Oh my… I know how you feel. But I was certain even while carrying kid #2. At now four months old, everyday I think to myself that even though it’s hard I won’t have to go through any of it again and am just looking towards a better and brighter future. He’s lovely but feeding 5 times a night is something I could do without!!

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