Why I Am An A**hole (aka why I shouldn’t coach soccer anymore)

June 1, 2015

assholeA few months back that fated email came into my inbox from the local soccer organization. It said “we don’t have enough coaches and your son won’t be able to play unless we get more volunteers”. Ugh. Well played LUSA, way to tug at the guilt strings, as it worked like a charm and I threw my name in the hat despite swearing that I would NEVER EVER coach my kids teams again.

Because you know what?! Little boys can be a**holes too, especially when together in a group. They don’t have the attention span to learn and absorb, they just want to run and jump and play lightsabers and tag – they don’t want to run drills, or pass the ball, or god forbid actually sit still for 30 seconds to learn a new skill.

I get it little dudes, but it doesn’t mean I want to be the one that has to ask you every 10 seconds to stop talking, pay attention get off the ball, don’t hit your teammate etc – I do that enough with my own kids day after day.

So, last week we had yet another away game. It was a long drive to the game and I knew that we would be missing at least 4 players. But then a few more didn’t show up without any warning from the parents (grr) so we were short a player. It was hot, the boys were tired and we didn’t have our best game. Everything we had worked on the past few months didn’t happen (bunching around the ball much?), and one kid kept putting his pinny over his head every 20 seconds, and I was trying my best but I was NOT in my best coaching place.

In fact, I was an a**hole. I was frustrated. I yelled. And I feel badly for that.

And I will admit, there is a part of me that expects too much from those 7 year old boys. That expects too much from my own kids. I don’t get why they DON’T GET IT……

I was always a good athlete, actually make that a GREAT athlete, and as much as I love my boys dearly, they just didn’t get that athleticism gene from me. And I am slowly accepting that. But I still feel like an a**hole.

So, the next time one of those emails comes through my inbox I am going to decline. I want to be their cheerleader and not their coach. I want to ride down mountains with them but I want someone else to teach them the skills they need.

I don’t want to be an a**hole anymore. Just mom.



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